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She knew better than anyone else that she was losing her mind. When it was clear to her that life has only one ladder up towards nowhere and that downwards meant misery, she gave up the hope of even trying to change. She had completely fallen into her own trap, frustrated by the fact that she couldn't find a solution to break the pattern of society like a calculas problem. The way that people lived now had been formed after thousands of years of trial and error. Now after much regulating and processing, humans had concluded a system to measure and educate moldable offsprings into the perfect form. Then natural competition eliminated those who may function differently. How horrible it must be to be different!